16. fly that freak flag high.

there have only been a few things of which i've been proud in my life.

just a select few moments when i've felt on top of the world.

but i don't know if there's ever been a time when i haven't been more or less completely aware of just how "different" i am/ever was.

ever.

sure, in the beginning i was in denial of it all.

EVERYONE spends their summer following the specific divisions of a pie chart that was split into 24 hours, and among 5 different school subjects, i thought.

EVERYONE's sole goal in life was to be able to swim topless like a boy.

EVERYONE enjoyed the creamy yet cheesy taste of a Fluffanutter and Cheese sandwich.

but it wasn't so.

it's not clear the exact moment at which i realized i was different, but i do remember not caring all that much when i found out.

by the time i hit 5th grade, i was well aware of my weirdness.

and i forced myself to embrace it.

in fact, that year proved to be the one during which my "difference-ness" became my signature.

my schtick.

me.

it's widely known that the Toro girls were all raised to be nerds, and i challenge anyone to be raised by my parents and NOT enjoy things like arguing the difference between a 95 and a 98, or watching Ken Burns's Civil War documentary, or loving bad jokes and obvious and unnecessary puns too much.

and Harry Potter.

our dad brags about both participating in his high school's glee club and religiously watching "Star Trek."

our mom, who claims to hate her job, is ranked as a top 20 employee of Wachovia (in the country), while taking up such hobbies as quilting, watching Korean soap operas, and ranting about finances and investment all the day long.

Olivia's had straight-A's since the womb and is probably the Toro family's greatest bad joke enthusiast, even if she doesn't completely get jokes the first time around - a trait which usually culminates in a Laugh Mountain.

Annie's really, REALLY into Asian things. and Lord of the Rings.

and, in the 5th grade, i was obsessed with all things pertaining to the Revolutionary War.

indeed, in my class i was the "weird kid."

i had friends - all of whom i really loved - but there was no getting around the fact that we were all "different."

especially me, i suspect.

and especially when it came to the Revolutionary War.

one day, our teacher had us all sit on the floor and in a circle as we went over the answers to a Revolutionary War test we had taken just a couple of days earlier.

whenever we got to our first wrong answer, we were to put our hand down.

when we reached around the 20th-25th answer, just a third of us were left with our hands in the air.

i started to get antsy.

as we got closer to 50, more and more hands started to go down.

i was nearly shaking in my seat.

people were beginning to stare.

at question 45, my hand stood alone.

46, still up...

...47...

...48...

...49...

...50.

as soon as my teacher read the answer aloud, and i found that i had gotten 100% on the test, fully aware of the freak flag i was certain other people were already aware - sure of and completely okay with the fact that it was too late to try to hide said freak flag - i threw my other hand in the air in triumph and cried, "YES!"

several times.

the other kids stared.

i could feel their eyes on me.

...i didn't care.

my teacher laughed a little bit - tried to cover it up with a polite cough.

but still my hands were raised.

while the other kids got up and returned to their seats, i remained on the floor, soaking in my victory.

only George Washington or Ben Franklin could've known what i was feeling at that moment, standing alone and unafraid.

besides, Washington had wood teeth and Franklin wore glasses, too - surely they were the weird ones in their 5th grade classes, too.

if you work hard to blend in, how much harder will it be to just be yourself later on, when it counts?

fly that freak flag high.